Dope Fiend Moves...pt. 1

A dope fiend move.

That, when I was growing up, was the saying we used to have for actions that were so head-scratchingly bizarre, so out of left field or so patently stupid that the only explanation for them we could offer was that the cats behind them had to be under the influence of weapons-grade narcotics.

"You cheated on your girlfriend and forgot to take the condom off before you got home to her? Damn, money, that was a dope fiend move."

I thought back to that old saying as I was reading about how Rep. Tim Mahoney, a Florida Democrat, popped off this week about the race for the Democratic presidential nomination. Mahoney took it upon himself to suggest that the contest might be in for an unexpected twist if it remains undecided by the time the Democrats' convention rolls around starting Aug. 25.

If the party hasn't picked a candidate by then, Mahoney said, both Sens. Obama and Clinton could be passed over in favor of a "compromise candidate." Further, Mahoney said, that third candidate could very well be former VP Al Gore.

Huh??

OK, for a Congressman to express so blithely an eagerness to just throw off the electoral process because he doesn't like the pace of its resolution is already more than enough to merit concerns that he might be under the influence. But to then offer up Al Gore — a guy who hasn't been approved by anyone, hasn't appeared on a ballot in eight years and whose last memorable act as a politician was folding like laundry as George W. Bush made off with his Supreme Court-appointed presidency in 2000 — is the very definition of sucking that glass dick.

I mean, who in the hell said Gore was some kind of "solution" here? And how does a vintage white male politician represent any kind of a "compromise" between the potential first woman nominee and the potential first black nominee? C'mon, Mahoney. Put down the pipe, guy.

Of course, the biggest dope fiend move would be for the Dem leadership to attempt some stunt like this. Given the historic nature of the race, the passions flowing among the swelled camps of both Obama and Clinton, this wouldn't just be a blow to the party. This would be a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the temple.